Slowing Down for Autumn 2020
Slowing Down for Autumn 2020
How slowing down and practicing joy can help us process collective grief in Autumn
What is it that you are running from, or towards? I have found myself speeding through things recently. I’ve been pushing through vinyasas, standing meditation has felt far from spacious, I flick through books, or maybe dip in and out, my qigong practice which is usually so dreamy is now at warp speed. It seems I have a bear chasing me. Wait, there aren’t many bears in London. So what is it I am running from? Is it coronavirus? Maybe, just maybe, if I run fast enough, I can totally avoid the messiness that is Autumn 2020. How’s that working out? Not great, actually. Turns out, I can’t outrun this, and I’m certainly not quick marching into life as it once was. But who am I kidding, the visions we lay out for ourselves are seldom the reality we step into, so how is it that I am going to deal with this simultaneously contrary wish of running away and hiding under the duvet?
Slow Down
I think I became aware of this tendency on my yoga mat, when I noticed myself hurrying through a vinyasa, and then not allowing myself to steep in final relaxation. This tendency is laid all the more bare in meditation, when I notice myself making ‘to do lists’ in my head: and these are to do lists that would blow your mind. Never in a million years would I get all these things done in a day. I find myself signing up to things, knowing my days are already filled and that things are taking longer now due to having to plan every outing carefully; gone are the days of a casual meander to a museum or a last minute meal at a pub! In spite of this, I find myself trying to fit in more and more. Over the past few days of mulling over my tendency to want to rush through things and run by, I’ve come up with some ways of keeping myself anchored. The first of my hit list is to slow down. In ‘In Praise of Slow’, author Carl Honore rails against the cult of speed, recognising that it is only when we slow down, that we fact honour the time it takes for things to unfold. He defines slow as: “calm, careful, receptive, still, intuitive, unhurried, patient, reflective, quality-over-quantity. It is making real and meaningful connections – with people, culture, work, food, everything.” In contrast, he defines Fast as “busy, controlling, aggressive, hurried, analytical, stressed, superficial, impatient, active, quantity-over-quality.”
In my rushing around to get things done, to tick things off the list, to not fully engage, I have realised that I’m feeling constrained by greed - not a greed to buy things but rather a greediness, to demonstrate my busy-ness as a badge of honour. This is an idea that I have spent years railing against; in my mind busy is not a good thing, and yet, I allow ‘busy’ to get under my skin. Autumn strikes me as the perfect time to allow this tendency to fall away. So through the darkening days of November and December, I’m planning to plan less and do less and dream more and to allow more to come into being.
Practice Joy
A couple weeks ago, I sat down on my meditation cushion. That’s become one of the positive constants of my new normal: daily meditation live streamed. The teacher was unfamiliar but there was a depth of warmth in her voice. Feel what feels ok. Hmmmm, I’m more used to feeling the big sensations. The next day, the challenge increased: feel joy. I couldn’t go there. Forget joy: at the moment I’m having a time summoning up enthusiasm. And yet, there is no reason not to feel these emotions, alongside the collective grief we are feeling. It is right to mourn what we have lost and yet, outside my window, the trees blaze gold and ruby red. The air is plumped up and made visible by mist through which the twinkle of London’s glass towers vanish and reappear. And autumn is the perfect season to release the weight of the past few months and begin to turn inwards to allow for a restful winter and renewal in spring. In Chinese Five Elements the season of autumn is associated with processing grief, to release what we no longer need: to let go of what weighs us down so that we can learn from what is past to step more brightly into the future. The organs linked to this season in Chinese five elements are the lungs and the large intestines: organs of release but ones that help to strengthen our immunity too.
Refining
Autumn is my favourite season: I love the crisp air, the promise of new beginnings, the whizz bang of fireworks lighting up the sky for Diwali, for Guy Fawkes, the lingering smell of wood smoke, the invitation to turn inwards and release what is no longer necessary. Yet this year, I feel I have to tackle autumn differently. In ayurveda, autumn is associated with Vata, a dry, restless energy that can literally blow you off your feet, and I am feeling this energy acutely. These darkening days allow us to reflect on what is essential to us and what we value. Everything else can pass. It is a season to still our hearts and mind and collect spirit and gather ‘qi’ or life force. For me, this is akin to feeling and allowing any weight to pass and letting joy take its rightful space. The element linked to autumn in Chinese Five Elements is metal. Metal is refined within the earth’s crust. Metal is about cutting through what no longer serves us, but also in enjoying the good things in life. Autumn is a time to celebrate earth’s bounty and to gather in what nourishes and supports us as we release what we no longer need.
Nourish your spirit
This is a time to nourish the spirit, and as I slow down, I’ve resolved to do the things that allow me to nourish my spirit. I’ve already started to practice longer holds in yoga and simpler poses. I’m trying not to rush through things and to do one thing at a time. I am reminding myself to soften in the face of challenge and remind myself that I’m human. I’m making the time to spend time in nature DAILY. It’s easy, when you’re living in the city to let this one drift past but a daily reminder that we are a part of nature not apart from nature helps me to literally find me feet and stop taking myself so seriously. Finally, on a speedy scroll through on instagram, I was reminded of the joy of scheduled reading. I’ve noticed that when I don’t take time to practice what brings me peace, whether that’s a formal movement practice, meditation or reading, I begin to feel overwhelmed. So, I’m scheduling in time to read.
These are the five things I’m going to practice this autumn so I can be present with every nuance of this season. Will you join me?
Slowing down
Practicing joy
Refining
Daily dose of nature
Scheduled reading